That was the strangest dream I ever had.
I dreamt that I was standing still in an eerily lit underground metro station. People whizzed around me in fast-forward, chattering happily and ignoring me-friends, aunts, uncles, cousins.....I tried to say hello...but I had no voice. I tried to grab their hands....but i couldn't move. I tried to run after them...but I was frozen.
Events and scenes and moments shifted and shimmered, jumbled with glimpses of places I had visited, fragments of memories- happy and sad. The more I tried to focus, the more the scenes and faces merged into one another until I was left standing in the midst of a thick fog.
I could see myself disappear into the fog, become part of it, become thin vapour. I knew I was dead then, and I was trying hard to hang onto just one thought-I'm still here...
Then I couldn't see anything any more either. All around me was a dark, suffocating blackness, and I felt that i was just a dot. A dot that was trying very hard to hang onto the thought, " I'm still here. I'm still here."
I tried to fight a deep, numbing sleep that was coming over me.
I wondered- what if its true. What if all that happens to you when you die is that you turn into a small dot that is forced into a deep sleep, and you cant hang onto even the memory of your existence anymore? And when you awaken, you are already someone else, with no memory of the life you led before....
And there are no answers.
No angels or gods to meet you halfway and tell you what it was all about.
I dreamt that I was standing still in an eerily lit underground metro station. People whizzed around me in fast-forward, chattering happily and ignoring me-friends, aunts, uncles, cousins.....I tried to say hello...but I had no voice. I tried to grab their hands....but i couldn't move. I tried to run after them...but I was frozen.
Events and scenes and moments shifted and shimmered, jumbled with glimpses of places I had visited, fragments of memories- happy and sad. The more I tried to focus, the more the scenes and faces merged into one another until I was left standing in the midst of a thick fog.
I could see myself disappear into the fog, become part of it, become thin vapour. I knew I was dead then, and I was trying hard to hang onto just one thought-I'm still here...
Then I couldn't see anything any more either. All around me was a dark, suffocating blackness, and I felt that i was just a dot. A dot that was trying very hard to hang onto the thought, " I'm still here. I'm still here."
I tried to fight a deep, numbing sleep that was coming over me.
I wondered- what if its true. What if all that happens to you when you die is that you turn into a small dot that is forced into a deep sleep, and you cant hang onto even the memory of your existence anymore? And when you awaken, you are already someone else, with no memory of the life you led before....
And there are no answers.
No angels or gods to meet you halfway and tell you what it was all about.
No comments:
Post a Comment